Post tramatic trip disorder

We got back into Dallas last night at 1 a.m. The two hour time difference was hard to work around for all of us while we were in California for the Amen Clinic appointment that we had. Ian stopped all his meds on 11/19/2009 for the brain scan. His first three days off were great. Higher vocabulary and a decent temprament. He was well enought for us to actually enjoy a FULL day of Disney on Sunday 11/22/2009. Now, the meds were starting to wear off and on Monday he had his brain scan.

That scan was read with Mom on Tuesday and she videoed it since Ian was not in a mood to sit still and visit with the doctor. The video will be posted. The return home was the most challenging of the trip. Even though we knocked him out, his excema (sp?) was so bad it was waking him up and he was waking up the whole plain. We had a very nice trip but are all very tired. I will work on posting video later.

This is one item that we can mark off our list that will assist us in helping Ian try and live a more comfortable and normal life. If you haven't read Dr. Amens book, Change your Brain, Change Your Life...I encourage you to do so. It is very good information for EVERYONE!

First day of school

Ian (and all Melissa students) began their first day of school today. Ian will be starting the school year off with his ABA therapist coming into the school to help train the teachers on how to deal with his behavior issues.

His little sister began her first day of Kindergarden. They are two classrooms away from each other. I hope they both have a great school year and hopefully little sister can take up for him no and then.

Ian's year in special olympics

Hanna's story is exactly Ians.

Special Olympics

I'm sitting here waiting for Mom at her school. I am waiting in eager anticipation so that we can go to Ian's first Special Olympic event. We are very excited for him as he will be getting a ribbon later today.

He has a new fascination with the ribbon. He loves to take us to the computer and make us print him out a ribbon.

The other night, he had done his homework and Mom printed out a homework ribbon for him. He was going to take it to his teacher to show her. He must have been so proud of himself.

The next morning I was putting Ian on the bus for school when he remembered he did not have his ribbon to show his teacher. He flipped out and kicked both bus drivers. I had to take him off the bus. He was very mad. Of coures, as parents can sometimes be, I had little patience with him and was very upset with his behavior.

I did not understand that Ian's ribbon was so special to him. He does not have the ability to communicate that to me in ways that I understand. Instead, he throws tantrums as he can not communicte like a normal kid.

After I realized how special that ribbon was to him, I felt really bad. I failed to understand that he was communicating with me in his Ian ways.

Anyway, we'll post photos of him at special olympics today.

Jenny McArthy on Larry King

Vaccine injury

The pharma business has poisend American children. Why have we allowed this to continue?

Truth of a four year old...

With Ian's condition, our girls get pushed pretty hard. Kennedy (12) really struggles deep down. You can see it in her eyes. She loves Ian so much. His condition is really hard for her to deal with.

Liberty (4) was talking to Mom about a week ago. It was about one of Ian's rages. Who really knows what set him off. I believe Liberty got a good deal of the brunt of the tantrum on this particular day. She was probably just sitting playing in her room and bam, "I'm Ian, here me roar and watch me throw and whatever else I'm gonna do".

Mom had to quickly jump in as Lulu (as we call Liberty) was crying and scared of what he may do next. We have been trying a new discipline suggested by Ian's ABA therapist. Rather than disciplining Ian, we give the attention to the sibling that he hurts and isolate them from Ian. Mom ran to scoop up Lulu and isolated themselves. While in hiding, Lulu told Mom, "I want a new boy, mine is broken".

That's tough for a parent to hear.

Our first day back....

Ian has wasted no time. He picked up a chair that he has in his room and threw it across the room. He was in a tirade. He was kicking and screaming and throwing things and destroyed his room. He was hitting me. Luckily he can't hurt me yet (at least not badly). He can hurt his Mom and sisters though. He did this for about an hour. He wore himself out and finally went to sleep.

I think I'm going to have to make some business changes that I really don't want to have to make. His condition isn't getting any better. My wife owns a pre-school so she has no options. My businesses are more flexible. We'll see where we go from here but from Cozumel 48 hours ago to coming back to Ian and his condition, we have so far to go. My wife looks at me helpless and I know she sees that look in me as well.

Oh well, hopefully he'll wake up in a better mood.

Be back in a jiff....

We are getting a lot of good information from several families regarding their wonderful special children. We are encouraged and hope to encourage others.

We are fortunate. Like my blog topic from yesterday, many special needs families (and especially couples) do not get an opportunity to take a "time out to regroup". I have a wonderful Mom (angel). She has been a tremendous part of our families success. She loves our little Ian like no one else. She would do anything for him. She is also probably the only one that has the patience to work with him and definatley is the only one that would care for him in our absence.

We are fortunate that my Mom (with the help of my Dad and possibly sister) will be watching Ian so my wife and I can go on a cruise. We both have our own businesses. We have 2 other children in the house PLUS Ian. We definatley need a chance to regroup. Without my Mom, this would not be possible.

I won't be posting on the blog for a week. But please, don't let that stop you from posting comments.

Stress of a special needs family

While 50 percent of marriages end in divorce; the marriage holding a special needs family can see rates of divorce of between 80 and 85 percent.

This is a challenge our family faces daily. We were once counseled that we had a child centered family. This caused some stresses between Mom and Dad in our family. We quickly made some changes to make our family centered around God, then Mom and Dad and then the kids. We had a strong family unit once again.

The problem today is that we have gravitated to having a family centered around a disability. This affects Mom, Dad and siblings whose needs are now put on the backburner because of the special needs challenge that Ian presents.

People don't understand our situation. They think, "well, just hire a sitter", so you can go to your kids softball games, or that Company Christmas party or take him to that band concert or parade with you. Church? Forget about it.

That's not the way it works. Only Mom, Dad and Mimi can handle Ian. He is a challenge. Not even his nanny can watch him anymore.

Our family is always trying our best but we know we faulter. Mom and Dad are working to spend more time together and with the two other children. Ian is starting to qualify for some programs through MHMR, but the help is very slow and cumbersome to come by.

I would like to say a special thanks to the Highland Park United Methodist Churches Night Owls Program that gives special needs famlies the respit that they need. Their program is truly a special gift for our family.

Every month they take our children and once a year, they rent out Camp John Mark and give our family a helper for each child in the family. It is quite often the ONLY FAMILY vacation that these special needs families will get. Mention Disney to a special needs family and they will just laugh.

Luckily, Mimi will be watching Ian this week so Mom and Dad can take a much needed Carribean Cruise. We were fortunate to have a strong family unit to build on. It is a challenge and we definately understand why 80% of families can find no other way but divorce. We, however, will keep on keeping on.

More to come.....

Meet Superman

This is my little guy. I love him very much. Just like you love any of your children.

I know he can not help himself. I get mad at his condition. It's hard somedays for that frustration not to spill over in my daily life.

He needs help. He has been screaming for help for 7 years now. Mom has always been very proactive in trying to find something (anything) to improve how Ian functions in our family and his social settings.

He is so loving. His mood can change in a minute. He can hall off and hit you just because. He is impulsive.

My most favorite time of the day is when he climbs into my bed and just snuggles up to you. He craves touch but a minute later can be done with your hugs.

Right now, we are chaning Ians diet. I'm hoping Mom will blog about this. She has read countless books to help Ian. Her latest book is the book that Jenny McArthy wrote. There seems to be some connection to kids like Ian and their diet.

Black Friday

I was wondering what my first blog about Ian would be. He wasted no time in giving me a great topic. Last night, I took Ian and Liberty (his 4 year old sister) to get all the fixins for a christmas tree. Something small.

Like most things with little kids, I quickly became the one wrapping the tree with lights and hanging the bright red walmart christmas balls all over the 4 foot tree.

Mom had to go to work this a.m. early. She had communicated with me that she was leaving. I'm not sure if the turkey was still kicking in, but I do not remember any of the conversation this a.m.

Ian was probably awake, by himself, from 5:30 a.m. to 7:30 a.m. I woke up thinking, Danielle must have taken Ian with her. The house was so quiet. There was a calm peace with a steady nice falling rain to further make my rise from slumber even that much more perfect. Liberty (4 year old sister) scampered out of our bed, which she invaded over the night, and scampered into the living room. She asked me why the house was green.

I didn't think much of it. Not until I heard Ian's voice. I quickly realized he had been here the whole morning.

Ian can not be left alone for any period of time. This morning, he caused more damage than I thought would be possible in 2 hours.

Sure enough, he had (just as Liberty reported) found a couple of bottles of green paint. His art project seemed to start out painting little stockings which my wife had bought as a project for her preschool kids. It quickly evolved into a "I'm going to paint my house, my carpet, my sofa".

I walked into the formal living area where we...excuse me, I....had worked so hard to put up our Red, White and Blue themed Remeber our Military Chrimstas tree last night. Ian must not have liked the project much. He had pulled the tree down and attempted to remove all the lights. He also took down the 60 red balls and scattered them throughout the house.

He then proceeded into my office and absconded my cell phone (which as a real estate and insurance agent is my main source for eeking out a living). He trashed my home office. I'm still trying to find the keys to my car.

Point of post: Some of you would think, "well, he just needs a good spanking". I'm not sure that works with Ian. The only way to keep him out of trouble is to be at his side morning, noon and night. He has to be monitored at all times of the day. Even though he knows right and wrong, deep down, he can't keep from doing wrong. We are still desperatley trying to understand. We are trying many things to try and get him on the same page as to what most of us consider normalcy. There will be more posts on this in days to come.

Discipline: Well, the first thing I though was take the tree down and not have one. But like so many times, Ian's behavior has a dramatic effect on his siblings. It's not fair for the other children (Bailey, Kennedy and Liberty) to not get a Chrimstas tree because of Ian. Multiply this small incedent over a period of 7 years and they have been harshly penalized because of Ian's condition. (more to come regarding sibiling issues in other posts).