Stress of a special needs family

While 50 percent of marriages end in divorce; the marriage holding a special needs family can see rates of divorce of between 80 and 85 percent.

This is a challenge our family faces daily. We were once counseled that we had a child centered family. This caused some stresses between Mom and Dad in our family. We quickly made some changes to make our family centered around God, then Mom and Dad and then the kids. We had a strong family unit once again.

The problem today is that we have gravitated to having a family centered around a disability. This affects Mom, Dad and siblings whose needs are now put on the backburner because of the special needs challenge that Ian presents.

People don't understand our situation. They think, "well, just hire a sitter", so you can go to your kids softball games, or that Company Christmas party or take him to that band concert or parade with you. Church? Forget about it.

That's not the way it works. Only Mom, Dad and Mimi can handle Ian. He is a challenge. Not even his nanny can watch him anymore.

Our family is always trying our best but we know we faulter. Mom and Dad are working to spend more time together and with the two other children. Ian is starting to qualify for some programs through MHMR, but the help is very slow and cumbersome to come by.

I would like to say a special thanks to the Highland Park United Methodist Churches Night Owls Program that gives special needs famlies the respit that they need. Their program is truly a special gift for our family.

Every month they take our children and once a year, they rent out Camp John Mark and give our family a helper for each child in the family. It is quite often the ONLY FAMILY vacation that these special needs families will get. Mention Disney to a special needs family and they will just laugh.

Luckily, Mimi will be watching Ian this week so Mom and Dad can take a much needed Carribean Cruise. We were fortunate to have a strong family unit to build on. It is a challenge and we definately understand why 80% of families can find no other way but divorce. We, however, will keep on keeping on.

More to come.....